At least one of my readers/followers may already know Ann Koplow of The Year(s) of Living Dangerously, because I discovered her blog after she started following mine. Ann is unfailingly positive and yesterday’s post struck a chord with me.
I “haven’t got time for the pain” can be taken differently depending on your outlook. You can say you haven’t got time to WASTE on pain, and work through it to get to the other side. Or you can wallow in it, indulging in a pity party and causing those around you to suffer as well. Or, if the pain is emotional, you can opt out of the relationship – life’s too short to endure the pain.
Next month will be our 17th wedding anniversary. That’s 2 years longer than my first marriage! And eons longer than any of my mother’s many joinings. Our daughter’s nearly-a-year relationship hit a really rough patch in the last couple of weeks. So much so she asked me if she could stay with us if she decided to leave. She doesn’t ask that lightly, she’s very independent. Last night she texted me that they “were good”. It had been exhausting and frustrating but they wanted to move forward. I think it’s reasonable to take a teeny bit of credit here, as she did come to both of us to vent, giving us the opportunity to advise her. Not to mention the example we live every day. She knows I haven’t always been the happiest but she sees that I’m not a quitter. I choose to go on in spite of any pain I might experience, I haven’t got time for it.
One benefit of living one’s entire life with a chronic, eventually fatal condition (which we all have, if you think about it):
It can focus you wonderfully on what’s important in the moment.
As a result, I often hear myself saying
“I haven’t got time for this.”
For example, recently I have stated that I haven’t got time for ...
- Anguish about things I cannot control,
- Unhelpful judgments, and
- Shame about my own imperfections.
This morning, as I woke up, I had time to recognize that I was feeling dizzy and nauseated, due to a revisit from Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) … probably triggered by my being in the same position for 7 hours last week during cardiac surgery.
And, I said to myself:
I haven’t got time for this.
So, I’ll be working on asking for help to resolve that, today.
In the meantime…
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