Merriam-Webster defines singularity as:
noun \,siŋ-gyә-la-rә-tē\ : the quality of being strange or odd
Hmm. How very appropriate considering my avatar. But I’m not writing about being strange or odd. The definition continues:
1 : something that is SINGULAR: as
a : a separate unit
There’s more, but for the point of this post we don’t need the rest.
Occasionally over the past few weeks I’ve had various notions flit in and out my brain. They don’t last long and I don’t dwell on them – they’re sort of glimpses, if you will, of what my life might be like if I were single again.
I don’t take that to mean I want to be single; I really don’t and I’ve asked myself that very question. I’m not sure it means anything really; I’m treating it as a sort of imagination exercise.
The last time I was single I was raising three daughters, two of whom were teenagers in high school. Between the four of us there wasn’t a good week in the entire month! Just kidding. If you didn’t get it then you’re probably not familiar with PMS. Go look it up. Or don’t. As you parents out there know, when you have children your life is not always your own. You make choices and do things based on your family first, then yourself. Usually.
But if I were single now with all my kids grown? So many possibilities await me! There is always a chance I could be single again down the road – there are no guarantees in life after all – so I thought I should make a list of the ideas that have been floating about. I don’t want to forget them if I need them someday.
If I suddenly found myself single I would move closer to work. I loathe commuting. I could probably afford something closer to town if I lived alone. First of all, I wouldn’t need such a large place and I’d only be feeding me; and possibly a pet.
I would eat at home more, experimenting with foods I haven’t tried. Living closer to work I’d get home earlier, and there would be time for kitchen chemistry. In the evenings I’d take a walk or ride my bicycle (I would get a bicycle). In the rainy season I would probably hit the Y gym or the pool some evenings.
I’d go to the movies by myself, buy my snacks there – price be damned – and sit in the quiet, dark theater and bask in the anonymity.
Another activity I want to try is a community garden. I have brown thumbs AND fingers. Plus I have no idea what I’m doing so I pretty much do nothing. If I could join a community garden I could get down and dirty under a garden guru’s guidance. And – BONUS – bring home fresh produce!
Going back to school is another attractive idea. I don’t want a to earn a degree, I just like the idea of finding an interesting subject and joining in with others who are interested. I could just as easily find some sort of social group for that I suppose. Square dancing anyone?
Traveling! There are so many wonderful places I haven’t been.
One of my very favorite ideas though is visiting bookstores. New bookstores, old bookstores, junk shops, variety stores – anywhere there are books! Many moons ago I took a weekend trip with two girlfriends. One of the days we went for a drive and the only rule was that we had to stop wherever someone wanted. During the drive any one of us could holler out that they wanted to go THERE and whoever was driving would pull in. We also talked about what our very favorite thing to do was. Mine was to browse in a used bookstore all by myself with no timetable. I would still enjoy that.
I think if I didn’t move closer to work I’d like to live closer to the beach. I was born in a beach city, maybe that’s why I’ve always felt an affinity for the salty spray and the sea breeze. I commuted by ferry for many years and I loved parts of that commute while hating how long it took. If I could live by the shore I’d be such a happy camper!
All this talk about moving reminds me of something else I would do if I were single – minimize!
We have so much STUFF. Sure, you need furniture, appliances, clothing – I get that. But we have a room full of things that just sit there taking up space. We own two full size SUVs and a fifth wheel. Let me tell you, those would be gone in a heartbeat. Well, the suburban and the trailer would go; I might keep the pickup. I like my pickup.
This raises yet another issue I have – upgrading. If I were single again, I would upgrade nothing, nada, zilch, zippo. At least until there was no choice. I was happy with the 37” flat screen television we were using. It wasn’t that old and the picture was great. Now it’s one of the things in the back bedroom that sits gathering dust. JD’s plan is to install it in the 5th wheel (and you know how I feel about the trailer). I don’t need new and improved or bigger and better.
What I want is enough. Just give me enough to get by, along with a teeny bit more for an occasional splurge.
Phew! I had no idea this would go on and on. I guess it’s a good thing I wrote it down, right?