Small Miracles

Or answered prayers. Or maybe the Universe decided we were due for something good for a change.  Whatever, I’ll take it.

A couple of weeks ago JD and I met his sister at a Jewish skilled nursing facility near Seattle. SIL had been told by the current place Mom was in that they were seeing no progress and they thought Mom was as good as she was going to get. Scary thought since Mom is barely mobile with help.

So SIL figured if Mom was going to be stuck in a nursing home situation she wanted her to be somewhere more pleasant, less clinical.

The place we visited was like a dream. They hold Jewish services on the grounds which sometimes include people from the community.  They put on plays! They have activities like pottery, cooking, painting! And the residents’ art was displayed on the walls. What impressed me most though was that the woman who showed us around knew every resident we encountered by name and greeted them with warmth and familiarity. This place has 200-something beds!

The bad news was that they were at 100% occupancy – no surprise. And there was an 8 month waiting list which we immediately added Mom to. Sad face.

Fast forward to last Thursday when we got a scare because Mom had to be taken to the emergency room again. She’d been catheterized for a while due to an inability to completely void her bladder and had developed a UTI. Not completely unusual in her situation, but she was also very dehydrated and because it was her second trip to the ER since she’d been at that facility, my SIL wanted to find somewhere else to take her when the hospital discharged her. 

Enter the Swedish social worker, or whatever they’re called. They found some places near the original one for SIL to check out which she was doing Saturday afternoon. Mom was due to be discharged Sunday and we really didn’t want her returning to the other place.

Then Sunday morning we got a text saying the hospital was keeping Mom one more night and when they discharged her she’d be going to the Jewish place we’d all loved! Way to bury the lead Sis!

Of course I had to ask what happened to the waiting list. Turns out that a patient being released from the hospital AND who is Jewish gets priority and jumps to the head of the line. Who knew?

Part of me feels bad that the person at the head of the waiting list will have to wait longer. But the other part of me is overjoyed! I am hopeful Mom will do better at this place, perhaps even make some friends, find a new desire to hang around.

So whether it’s a small miracle, the answer to our prayers or just karma shooting us a thumb’s up – I am so very grateful.

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Janey Got Back

UPDATED TO INCLUDE THESE:

From Saffire — The Uppity Blues Women (thank you Craig for reminding me):

And how could I forget this?  Again, thanks to Craig:

Original post follows.

Thank goodness for my booty!  Yes, you read that right – my booty!  My backside, my tuches, my keister!  For anyone still unclear – my butt.  Thank goodness for my butt!

I was on the bus the other day when this wave of gratitude washed over me.  Another passenger stood up when the bus arrived at her stop.  As she waited for the driver to open the door she hiked up her jeans and her action caught my eye.  Then of course all I could see was that she had no backside. None. Nada. Zilch  There was nothing there to assist in keeping her pants up!  That’s when I realized that without my curvy derriere I might have the same problem.

I know, I know, sloppy, falling-down pants are in right now.  But I don’t care how fashionable some people believe them to be, you’ll never see them on this body.  Never, ever.  And honestly, does anyone really like that look?  I mean really?  Pull up your damn pants!  No one wants to see what’s under them or worse, that there’s nothing under them!

Thinking along these lines lead me to realize how grateful I truly am for my posterior.  Even ten years ago I would have laughed out loud if someone had told me one day I would love my butt.  I mean come on, it’s big people – not circus tent big but definitely above average.

If the media is to be believed a great number of women obsess about the size of their bottoms.  The actual number may even rival those who obsess about their breast size, but that’s a topic for another day.  If I’m honest with myself, I still have days when I’m not too happy with the backside.  But then JD will grab a handful when I least expect it, giving a little love tweak and I’m good again.  (Sorry if that’s TMI, it’s part of my evolution to loving the butt so it has its place here.)

I truly believe women should be celebrating their behinds.  From what I can see, a lot of men seem to enjoy them.

Bob Seger sang about Her Strut in the 80s.  While this isn’t specifically about a full-figured, round behind, it definitely refers to a female butt and the opposite sex’s appreciation of it.

“She’s totally committed to major independence, but she’s a lady through and through. She gives them all that they can handle, she’ll bruise some, she’ll hurt some too. But ohh, they love to watch her strut!  Ohh, they DO respect the butt!”

Then there’s Trace Adkins’ pleasure in the feminine anatomy not so long ago:

“…how’d she even get them britches on that honky tonk badonkadonk?”  And later, “We hate to see her go but love to watch her leave.”

From the lyrics you can surmise that it’s a larger than average posterior they’re talking about.  Too bad the official video used slimmer women who in my opinion, had almost non-existent butts.  But social media’s influence is everywhere, isn’t it?  And big butts aren’t politically correct.

That brings us to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back.  The beginning of the official music video shows 2 Valley Girl-types discussing a Black woman’s behind.  “I mean, her butt, it’s just so big…”  The downside to this homage to a nicely shaped rear is that it’s very sexual.  It’s completely inappropriate for your pre-teen even if it might help boost her self image. My introduction to it was in the movie Shrek of all things.  And then I saw this:

I can’t recall how I discovered it but I watched it one day at work and had to force myself not to dance along.  They had so much fun with this that I could disregard the lyrics and just have a great time along with them.

While tracking down the videos for this post I also ran across this clip which I had never seen.  The best part starts about 4:44 but feel free to watch all 5-ish minutes.

I’m sure I’ve missed some obvious tributes to the female anatomy so feel free to suggest them in the comments if you wish.  I’ll wind this up with one last video that tickles me:  All About That Bass, by Meghan TrainorMy favorite part is the big guy’s moves, and boy can he move!

As the lyric goes, “I’m bringin’ booty back!”

 

 

Unintended Irony

Last night I had to go for a pedicure.  And by “had to” I mean HAD TO!  My big toenails tend to become ingrown if I don’t have regular pedicures, and as I was overdue by about 2 weeks I knew it was past time to get my feet in there, while I could still walk.

I’ve been going to the same place for around 4 years off and on.  Sometimes I’ll be in another town visiting family or my best friend and we’ll go to their nail salon, but usually I give my business to one of the local places near my home.  It’s bright and cheery and often very, very busy.  They’ve always had a spa chair sized for children too in case you want to bring along the little ones and introduce them to the joys of a nice foot soak and/or bright polish.  That’s about all they do for the kids; there’s no cuticle trimming or pumicing – why would there be?  They have baby soft skin after all the little brats!  Uh…um, sorry, I meant the little darlings!  Of course I did.  You can’t prove otherwise!

Anyway, to get back to my point (I think I have one here somewhere), they recently updated their child’s chair.  I’ve not yet brought any of my grandkids with me so I never had any reason to notice the original chair.  Last night though I found myself really seeing the new chair which looks like this:

Child's pedicure chair

In case that image is too small, check out this detail:

Child's pedicure chair - detail

See it?  Do you see it people?  A mermaid.  And quite possibly a cousin or other relative of Ariel from Disney’s motion picture at that.

See what I mean about irony?  Unintentional of course.  If you’re not getting it let me expound.  You know how I love expounding!

One of Merriam-Webster’s simple definitions of irony is “a situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected”.  What the heck is a mermaid doing on a pedicure chair when a mermaid has no feet?!

See?  Unintentionally ironic.

It’s a slippery slope

It started innocently enough:  an occasional early morning visit with my friend from the billing department, and only when I had a gift card.  I was adamant about that…in the beginning.

Then work got busier, more stressful and I found myself looking for excuses to get away from my desk, get outside, get away!  The visits became more frequent, and now I was spending my own hard-earned money.  With the weather growing chillier it became even easier to justify stopping in and dropping a few bucks on my way to the train.  Hell, I even took the time on my way back from the chiropractor the other day.  Then I stopped again on my way to catch the train home.  Twice. In. One. Day!

It’s a slippery slope my friends.  If you aren’t already addicted to Starbucks* stay away – it’s a TRAP!

Sigh.

 

 

*We’re not talking fancy coffee here either; I almost never get anything other than a grande drip Pike for heaven’s sake!

I’m going to hell…

I’ve never made it a secret that I was raised in the Christian faith, though “raised in” is a bit loose for what I really was.  I regularly attended church with my grandma while my grandpa was decidedly less-than-Christian with me at home.  ‘Nuf said about that I think.

Seriously, I believe in God.  I can’t say that I understand him or that I am a consistent follower, but I believe in him and try to make my life choices such that I don’t piss him off.  (See the Old Testament for examples of God’s state of pisseration.  We do NOT want to go there!)  Of course if God were threatened by every television show or film which dissed him I think there’d be a whole lot more plagues going on.  Just saying.  Hey, I never said I was good Christian.

So all of that was the lead-in to this:  I ADORE the new Fox television show Lucifer!

Briefly, Tom Ellis plays Lucifer Morningstar or The Devil.  He’s grown bored with being the Lord of Hell and has taken a vacation to – where else? – Los Angeles, where he owns a night club. He’s charming, incorrigible, and hard to resist.  In fact he’s completely irresistible to everyone except Chloe Decker, a female cop.  Her ability to ignore him fascinates him.  At one point he asks her, “Did my father send you?”

It’s a police procedural slash buddy show which is already rumored to have been cancelled.  In addition, there is apparently a lot of controversy about the show trying to paint Lucifer as a misunderstood but basically good guy.  I didn’t do a lot of research on this but just skimming Google results shows that there are many groups out there who think Lucifer is evidence of how low humanity has sunk.  Some say it mocks the bible. Petitions were begun last year following Fox’s announcement of the show; no one had even seen it yet.  Talk about overreacting.

Coming from a semi-religious background I can sort of see why people of faith might be put off by the show.  But come on people, grow a sense of humor would you?  It’s supposed to be entertainment, not doctrine.  And it’s based on a comic book character, NOT the devil depicted in the bible.

I can understand if they cancel it based on the fact that it’s on the predictable side, not to mention the whole “cop show with a twist” idea hasn’t been too successful of late.  But it’s funny and clever and if it goes away I’ll miss it.  At least till the next funny and clever show comes along.