The Things You See

I imagine other people see some strange things on their daily commutes.  But can anyone out there say they’ve seen two flying outhouses?  Not one, but TWO!  I can say that.  This morning on the bus ride up from the train station I spied two port-a-potties swinging from one of the construction cranes across from my block.  My first thought was that I was seeing things but the way my twisted brain works, I quickly wondered whether anyone was inside.  Wouldn’t that be an E-ticket ride?  (If you’re too young to know what an E-ticket ride is than go ask Uncle Google.)

On my walk down to the station in the afternoon I pass a few skyscrapers, a YMCA, an independent gym, as well as City Hall and one of the courthouses.  Not to mention one of the ubiquitous Starbucks (yes only one).  The courthouse borders sort of an alley and across the alley is a tiny park which is usually populated by a lot of homeless people.  And pigeons.  During the summer months the scent of burning marijuana often drifts out from the park’s inhabitants and I’ve been known to speculate just how slow I’d have to walk to get a contact high.  Then I found myself wondering about the pigeons flocking through the park after scraps.  On my walk to the train the other day the birds seemed particularly numerous – covering most of the sidewalk – and they hardly moved when I and the other pedestrians strode through.  So  what do you think?  Are they getting high?  Or are they hanging out waiting for the munchies to hit the humans so they can gather up what’s left?

Inquiring minds want to know.

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Pardon me if I brag…

but I am a R O C K  S T A R y’all!

No, not in the literal sense silly.  I can’t carry a tune in a bucket and the only thing I can play is the radio.  See?  I know from literal.

I certainly hope no one minds though if I toot my own horn (again, not literally – that would be awful!).

HE'S happy I'm not playing!

HE’S happy I’m not playing!

Today I rescued one of the attorneys in our office.  Wait – I guess that makes me a S U P E R H E R O, not a rock star.  Hmm, well anyway.  Attorney P was dealing with tracked changes in a Word document.  His secretary and I were both trying to figure it out because it was a rush project.  Since our local Word guru was out today, we finally resorted to calling the main word processing group in the home office.  Someone in that department called Attorney P to find out more, but when he tried describing the issue they had no idea what he was talking about!  These are supposed to be the experts in processing documents for heaven’s sake!

So I turned to Uncle Google and once I (with a little help from yet another secretary) figured out how to frame the search query –  wham! there was my answer.  Well, it wasn’t quite that easy; none of the results addressed our specific problem, they were more how-tos than how-to-fix-its.  But I finally saw someone else had posted an identical problem on a board.  The answer provided by the “expert” on the site was more of what I’d already tried which was frustrating.  Then I skimmed down the comments from other users, and lo and behold there it was!

I didn’t want to get my hopes up yet again (I’d tried multiple possible fixes over the previous half hour) but I selected the comment, printed it and carried back to Attorney P’s office.  As we drilled down through the menus he said it was looking familiar.  By the time we got to the window where he actually got to do something besides open another menu, he knew we were on the right track.  He’d unchecked this box before in the office he transferred from, but that had been some time ago and he’d forgotten.  In addition, because of the recent software upgrade he didn’t know how to find it in any case.

He thanked me and I left him to get on with his revisions.  Sometimes it just works and you feel like you really know what you’re doing.  And when you don’t you turn to Uncle Google.  I guess that makes Uncle Google the superhero — but hey, it was ME who did the googling after all!  I think that qualifies.

Thank you Uncle Google!