Why am I suddenly so emotional? I was sitting on the train on the way to work this morning, gazing out the window, which I almost never do, when it occurred to me I’ve been doing this commute for a little over 3 years. The next thing I knew my eyes were filling. WTF?
I blinked back the potential for embarrassment or awkwardness in front of the other commuters, and ramped up the volume on my music. I’m cool. I did not just almost burst into tears on public transit.
But since then I’ve been wondering what might have caused that surprising reaction to a somewhat ordinary thought.
One possibility is that remembering how long I’ve been commuting via train tends to also bring up the fact that we lost our property and house about 3 years ago. But I’m pretty sure I’ve dealt with that loss. I still miss my soaking tub, but otherwise – I’m good.
Alternatively, when going beyond the last 3 years to see the Big Picture, I’ve been commuting in one form or another more than half my lifetime – ack! That’s enough to make anyone want to cry.
Or perhaps my subconscious was facing the hard reality that I will likely be commuting right up until I drop dead. At 57 you’d think I could be looking forward to retirement, if not soon, then at least eventually. Just between us Dear Reader, retirement is merely a dream. I’ll be sitting at my keyboard, proofreading legal memoranda and entering attorneys’ time for the foreseeable future. Or until secretaries become obsolete, whichever comes first.
Is it Miller time yet?
Janey Does Blogging 