Introspection

This is another digression from the “Freaking Great” volume so please accept my apologies if you were hoping for more from the book.

Earlier today while I was getting ready for work the faded white lines on the inside of my wrists stood out for some reason.  They’ve been there for 40+ years – since I tried for the second time to take my life. I see them every day but today they were unexpectedly “front and center” in my brain.  I imagine it has something to do with my mother-in-law passing last week and the reminder of my own mortality.  If I had been successful all those years ago you wouldn’t be reading this — duh — but I realized besides writing, there is quite a LOT I would have missed.

In no particular order:

  • The joy and heartache of being a mother
  • Laughing till you cry
  • Fresh bread that I mixed, kneaded and baked from scratch
  • Dog kisses
  • Grandchildren
  • Pie
  • Sunrises and sunsets
  • Coffee
  • The ocean
  • Dark chocolate
  • Croissants
  • Doctor Who
  • Reading
  • Crossword puzzles

Looking back over the list I see it’s far from complete (where’s the damn steak after all?), but there’s still a lot to love about my life.  As 2018 unfolds I need to keep this list handy (after I add “steak” and maybe “beer”). I’m sure there will be moments of frustration, sadness, and pain but these reminders will help me press on.  I have it pretty good after all.

Thanks for stopping by.

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