When will I learn

to keep my damn mouth shut?

Yesterday I shared some good news and by evening Karma was knocking us back down and gloating about it, the prick.

One of my favorite authors is Spider Robinson and my favorite quote of his is this one:

Shared pain is lessened.  Shared joy is increased. ~ Spider Robinson

I’ve used it in the past as a signature for my personal email so I’d see this reminder regularly.  Who doesn’t want their joy increased?  And then of course we get this in an email from my SIL:

“Over the weekend I was told by the hospital social worker mom was accepted by Kline House, the Jewish skilled nursing home. To find out yesterday when I went to see Mom that, in fact Kline House declined mom.

“Seems that Mom had a tough weekend.. being aggressive. She walked out to the nurses station and started throwing things. Pushed her nurse around. You’re probably thinking what I did..not my mom..?!! When the social worker sent those notes over to Kline House they declined her. All I could do is cry. Now what?”

But wait!  There’s more!

“The other thing is Medicare vs Medicaid. Mom has 100 days. She’s used 70 or 71 at [original nursing home]. Even though she has a month of time left, it seems that this is a major concern for any skilled nursing home – funding. Where is the rest of the funding for the rest of the time Mom is going to need come from? We are taking the steps to qualify Mom for Medicaid. However, that could take more time than she has with Medicare.

“I was told that a skilled nursing home is about $12-15,000 for a month. … if we have to pay, we can’t cover it all.”

I gotta think Karma is off on some cloud somewhere laughing his ass off.  Did I mention he’s a prick?


15 thoughts on “When will I learn

  1. I absolutely cannot “like” this post of yours. :(. I’m so sorry for you and your family, and obviously Mom too, who is an innocent in all of this. Shivers went up my spine when I read the estimates for nursing home care because I remember those moments exactly as you now having to experience it. I will keep all of you in my thoughts. – Marty

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m thinking of you and praying tonight for you and your Mom. I haven’t had to go through this and I honestly have no words to say except that you are on my mind and I’m glad you can share what is going on with you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so sorry that you are in this position. We had something similar in Scotland – it was so difficult to get my husband’s parents into a home (good or otherwise). Finally a fantastic NEW social worker helped out when we thought all was lost. It was a private home which was expensive but not as ludicrously high as you mention. Costs in the US are too expensive for both healthcare and home care (it should all be non-profit). My only advice is to keep trying and find a support group that might give you all sorts of help, such as the local Alzheimer’s group. The home that our parents finally went into didn’t always smell that good and needed some refurbishment but they looked after them so well that Mum didn’t die until 18 years after her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. One of my neighbor’s had a wonderful home care assistant who just came into the house and helped to the end, as did all we neighbors. Reach out to friends and neighbors, you will be surprised how many people are willing to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Been through this – TWICE – with dad and mil. The only advice I can offer is take advantage of the social services office @ the nursing home. They can do the mumbo-jumbo unraveling, and paperwork filing, for you. Still, it’s a stressful pain in t’arse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks CJ. I am SO grateful for my SIL who has taken this responsibility very seriously. Mom’s moved to a better facility and we’re hopeful she’ll start to be happier there.


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