Not to step on Gibber’s toes but I have a need for answers.  Over the weekend I called the other grandpa of two of my grandchildren who live a couple of hours away.  The kids live with him and his wife because neither my daughter nor their son has what it takes to parent.  So now that the kids are close enough to visit we took them camping during the summer.  It was much too short a visit but we promised them we would see them again.  I recently asked if we could have them visit over Thanksgiving weekend.  My request was denied with a comment that they were expecting family to come into town.  I thanked him politely and said that was great and I didn’t want to ruin a family time.  I asked if there was another weekend between then and the end of the year when we could have them visit and was told no.  No explanation, no nothing – just no.  Then he appeared to realize how bad that sounded and he backtracked and said something about he’d have to see.  Yeah, right.

Saturday, I asked whether we could have the kids visit us for a couple of days after Christmas so we wouldn’t interrupt their holiday.  With Christmas on a Thursday this year we were graciously* given that Friday off.  It would make for a nice couple of days with the grandkids and they could still be home by Sunday.  Well Grandpa Dickhead said no.  Again.  In fact, he flat out lied, saying that “everyone thinks they have two weeks” of school vacation but they only have one.  Hmm.  I didn’t call him on it because what the hell do I know for certain?

This morning though I called the district where they attend school and asked about their holiday schedule.  LO and behold!  They’re off from December 22 to January 2.  That’s what?  Two weeks?  Amazing.

So now I need a little assistance.  Tonight I plan to call dear old Dickhead and ask whether we might at least take the grandkids to dinner one night between now and Christmas.  I want to make sure they get the gift cards we have for them and I don’t trust that jackass even a little bit.  I’m not a pessimist most of the time, but realistically, based on our last two conversations, I believe he’s going to find a way to deny our request.

In case that happens, should I call him out for lying?  Call him a dickhead jackass son of a bitch?  Or should I remain polite and try to negotiate with him?  What say you all?  Geez, I’m starting to get a complex here; you’d think I was the Wicked Witch of Seattle or something.  😦



*When the hell is someone going to come up with a sarcasm font!?

21 thoughts on “Suggestions?

  1. My only suggestion is to consult with an attorney. Most of them will still talk to you for about a half hour to see if you have a case. Then, of course, they will discuss fees and such.

    We found out that most gift cards under those circumstances go right in the adult’s wallet, and the kids never see them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As I read your blog I could feel my blood begin to boil a little bit so I can only imagine what you must feel. In difficult situations such as these I often wonder what the other persons motivation could be. This way it is easier to address the source of the problem. I’m figuring the other grandpa must be experiencing fear of some kind irrational as that may seem because we are always operating from a place of love or fear. If he was in a place of love you certainly wouldn’t be having a problem. So, I would suggest calling again, being cordial and say that you are not trying disrupt their lives in any way but you think it can only be best for the children if they know and experience being loved by as many people as possible. If he can not find reason I would say outright (still cordially) “It seems like you don’t want us to spend time with the children. Is there a reason for this?” Let’s see him get around that one. Hope this helps!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I CAN see that he might be coming from from a place of fear. To complicate matters, our children are still legally married but haven’t lived together in years. So there’s no actual parenting plan, no divorce decree but my daughter voluntarily let the grandparents take them reasoning that she was very ill and couldn’t care for them. I do NOT want to upset the apple cart. His parents can give them a lot more than we can and they have a good life there. I just want to spend some time with them damn it. But I’ll start out on my best behavior and as the guys up there suggested, I’ll seek counsel if all else fails. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I ditto everything artistdevee said, that’s my two cents worth at the bargain price of a single penny as I didn’t say it first! I believe Grandpa Poopyhead is a bit threatened by having to share with you, & possibly lose his footing on a slippery slope. I’m sure His Son’s position in a custody battle is a factor, reasoning that the Paternal Grandparents being the kiddos caretakers decreases the Son’s appearance as a Worthless Douche Canoe…Stick to your guns Janey my Friend, show him with your persistence that you’re not going to be pushed out of the lives of your Grands. Cordial but firm, that’s your stance….

    Many big HUGS, I can only imagine how tough this is, and if you need me I’m only a phone call away…


  4. Wow. That is a piece of work. I think I would ask every day with some new permutation until one of two things happen. Either he gives in and relents because he is so dang tired of talking to you or he says you suck, in which case get an attorney. Oh, and I would throw into this next conversation, “I called the school and got the dates of their break so I figure dinner at this time would be perfect…” Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh gosh, I seem to be in these situations quite often where I’m just sure someone hates me or seems to be against me, and sometimes I’m wrong. All the same, you can’t go on not seeing your grandchildren. I’d say ramp it up just a bit on the confrontational front.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’d agree on not confronting, at least for Christmas. Kids hate when their grownups dont’ get along. But I agree on insisting on finding a time to do dinner or a night and a day to give them your gifts yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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